I’m obsessed this week with the song I’m Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks,  written by Martha McGuire, Natalie Maines, Emily Robison, and Dan Wilson. I’ve been praying it all week, when I hear people talking about redemption and forgiveness in the massive loss in Orlando. I’m not ready to make nice.

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could

O God. I want to forgive, but I’m not ready.

They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m not sure time heals everything. This loss may be too great.

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price, and I’ll keep paying

Help me to stay here awhile, God.

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell, and I don’t have time
To go ’round and ’round and ’round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I’m not ready, O God, to forgive.

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it?
It turned my whole world around
And I kinda like it

Please help keep the voices quiet God, let me stay angry.
I’m holding on, God. And I’m not yet ready.

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell, and I don’t have time
To go ’round and ’round and ’round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I’m not ready yet, but when I am, I’ll come to you, O God.

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting…

*****

Rev. Lia Scholl is not-that-kind-of-Baptist preacher and pastor in Winston-Salem, North Carolina (U.S.) and is the author of I Heart Sex Workers (Chalice Press, 2013).

*****

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3 thoughts on “Sunday Prayer: I’m Not Ready to Make Nice

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