You lead me beside still waters, you restore my soul. -Psalm 23:2
May I call you Lord?
I know it seems a little formal, but we need to talk.
My soul is drenched. Beaten by wind and rain, hail, and destruction. I’ve tried boarding it up, but the chaos seems to penetrate it.
I question myself. Did I do it wrong? I thought I followed the instructions. The boards rattled the nails came loose, even those “hurricane clips” seemed not to work. Why? Why is this happening?
I can blame you, but I’m not sure that’s helpful either. I feel helpless, hopeless, I try to stay positive, “at least we’re still standing”, but I look around and the destruction is everywhere.
I tried to prevent permanent damage, but I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried.
Still waters and restoration seem so far away. I have to admit, I long for it, sooner rather than later.
But the longing is is just that, isn’t it?
Permanence is nonexistent, change and chaos are the constant. Maybe the secret was to never board up to begin with? Never create the walls that were supposed to “protect”? For you ask Job in the midst of the whirlwind to remember that you are God. That I am not.
So I will humble myself to you.
God, still waters would be awesome, but you built the worlds from chaos, wisdom birthed it from her womb. And so I will stand humbly in the midst of my impermanence and destruction and simply ask:
What are you two up to now?
The Reverend Shannon Meacham is the mother of two exhausting children Maggie and Gus, and she currently serves Ashland Presbyterian Church in the safest part of Baltimore, the suburbs. You can find her musings about any and all subjects on her personal blog pulpitshenanigans.com.
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