Divine Creator, who aligns my body, mind, and soul,
My heart is racing right now.
Palpitations have emerged victorious.
Anxiety is my companion since childhood.
As life progressed it has invited itself without permission.
It has made me overthink, over-care, overwork.
And sometimes baby steps have been the only way to move forward in life.
Nature and nurture have worked together against my struggle.
The world has soaked into my soul
And the motion of it’s movement keeps my spirit on edge.
But when it provokes me physically is when it’s most disturbing.
My heart is well but I feel otherwise.
Anxiety makes me feel like my heart can run faster than the rest of my body-
Like it has its own agenda.
Why do I feel this way, God?
Why has by mind-body-soul connect let me down?
And why can’t I see you as I dive into this internal commotion?
Soothe my soul.
Calm my speeding heart.
May your Spirit assist me in mindful breathing.
And may my mind rest knowing that you are walking with me in each step.
The Rev. Michelle L. Torigian is the Pastor of St. Paul United Church of Christ, Old Blue Rock Road in Cincinnati. Her essay “Always a Pastor, Never the Bride” was in the RevGalBlogPals book There’s a Woman in the Pulpit. Torigian blogs at http://www.michelletorigian.com.
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