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I was taught to NOT BE ANGRY.
“That’s not very attractive,” was a common refrain in my Southern girlhood.
Now I know:
You love me in all my ways, and I do not have to be ATTRACTIVE for you.
But my heart does not know it
and the rest of the world does not know it
and all the people I’ve taught to never expect it from me
are reeling in shock.
Also? It hurts. It’s painful, physically.
I am very, very bad at anger
but I am trying
because there is so, SO much about which to be enraged.
Keep me angry! And, oh, teach me to be loving in it.
Teach me to sit with it, march with it, pray and witness with it.
To walk through what’s behind that red door.
Mary Beth Butler is an Episcopal layperson in North Texas. She is a retired university administrator, works as a paving contractor, and is an occasional blogger.
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