red door

Image by Jay Simmons on RGBStock

Help, Friend!

I was taught to NOT BE ANGRY.

“That’s not very attractive,” was a common refrain in my Southern girlhood.

Now I know:

You love me in all my ways, and I do not have to be ATTRACTIVE for you.

But my heart does not know it

and the rest of the world does not know it

and all the people I’ve taught to never expect it from me

are reeling in shock.

Also? It hurts. It’s painful, physically.

I am very, very bad at anger

but I am trying

because there is so, SO much about which to be enraged.

Keep me angry! And, oh, teach me to be loving in it.

Teach me to sit with it, march with it, pray and witness with it.

To walk through what’s behind that red door.

Thank you.


Mary Beth Butler is an Episcopal layperson in North Texas. She is a retired university administrator, works as a paving contractor, and is an occasional blogger.

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