It’s because I wanted to be humble. (Or at least I was trying…) I wanted to serve quietly. All piously faithful. Like a good girl. So I started making me small. I shrank my voice. And tried not to push too much. Or trouble. Or offend. I could take it. I could listen. I could follow. Quietly. Sweetly. You know.
But then you ripped this city open. Our neighborhood too. The churches and the schools. Our workplaces and our homes. You made us to see and you called us to work. And I saw the others. They were getting all ready. Responding in creative and radical ways. Unburdened by church niceties. But me, I was still trying to do the work of change and community and justice and love well and good and without troubling anyone.
But, then I remembered. You weren’t always so nice. You weren’t always so sweet. You tore things up and shouted in their faces and pulled out that whip. To grab our attention. To remind us of a different way. To call us to move. To call us to action.
And you made me with a voice. You gave me bold and radical friends and neighbors and co-conspirators to go with your, well, bold and radical message of justice and love.
So I started to dream big.
I let my voice run loud and wild, filled with your song.
I walked right into the mess and the flames, the drama and the chaos, the quiet uncertainty.
And I didn’t back down.
You are changing us. In these moments. To what we need to be for this time. God of wild and wonderful ways, Lord of ideas and surprises, Spirit of movement and flame, help us to dream. Help us to grow. Help us to follow. Help us to lead. Help us to be who you are making us to be, in bold and radical ways. For this time. For your love. In your name.
The Rev. Erin Counihan serves as pastor at Oak Hill Presbyterian (PCUSA) Church in St. Louis, MO. She is a contributor to the RevGals book and blogs at http://www.somewhatreverend.wordpress.com.
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