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(Photo by Terri Pilarski, of Chihuly glass, Seattle, WA) 

 

God of the broken

broken by shame

hidden deep and

ignored for years

which nonetheless

affected everything

turned joy to skepticism

turned hope to caution

turned love to fear

turned anger to depression

turned abuse to self blame

blame.

God of the broken

break open now

the lies and myths

that have kept me

silent, that have

led me to think

it was me. If only I had

If only I had not

                        If only

                                    If only

                                                If only

                                                            If

God of the broken

break open this pain

release its hold

remove the grip

open me up

that I can see

and hear the

ages of oppression

that contain me

guilt me, blame me,

shame me.

Shame.

God of the broken

mend the broken pieces of me

with love, tender and kind

That I may know, truly know. that I am good,

worthy, loved, that

although

I was treated like

            an object for another

            for their power

            their gratification

            their abuse

            their entitled thrust

            and shove

            hand over mouth,

            held down

 that I did

nothing wrong.

am not to blame

and there is no

shame on me.

That broken as I am

I can be whole again

made whole in my truth

made whole in my integrity

made whole in me

through your love

for the broken.

God of the broken,

break me open

so that the hurt inside can

be released and I can be free

amen.

The Rev. Terri C. Pilarski is an Episcopal priest serving a parish in Dearborn, Michigan. She’s been a member of RevGalBlogPals since 2006 and blogs at Seeking Authentic Voice

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