God of the Heavy Hearts,

As the reminder of my friend’s birthday comes across my feed, my heart still stings from her passing – even now years after her death.

How I would like to call her to catch up on life or introduce her to my partner! How much would I like to have one more coffee or strawberry margarita with her.

The universe treats us like fools, God. The universe holds back on the memories and triggers that remind us of our loss. And then, when we believe our hearts are strong and our souls are comfortable, the memories flood our feeds and our minds. Too soon she was gone, and too soon her loved ones had to experience this world without her.

Great Giver of Peace, still my spirit as I remember my friend today. I know I will see her on that side of heaven, but the realization that I won’t see her again on this earth still feels foreign.

Bring peace to all who loved her. May her young children know of her overflowing love of them, and may her faint glow be seen in this world now and always.



The Rev. Michelle L. Torigian is the Senior Pastor of St. Paul United Church of Christ, Belleville, Illinois. Her essay “Always a Pastor, Never the Bride” was in the RevGalBlogPals book There’s a Woman in the Pulpit. She also has chapters in the books Sacred Habits: The Rise of the Creative Clergy and A Child Laughs: Prayers for Justice and Hope. Torigian blogs at http://www.michelletorigian.com.

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