Intercessor for my soul,
I’ve had it with serenity with the things I cannot change.
Screw that. (You know the words I really want to use.)
I will not serenely accept that some people don’t want to do better,
That the harm of history is indelible on the future,
That I must interpret the actions of others through a lens of kindness that we both know they do not own.
I cannot do that anymore. And I won’t.
How can it be in keeping with righteousness that I should be serene about
Racism? Oppression? Ableism?
How can I be serene about the selling out of the Divine name and Divine will to people and circumstances the Holy Thou would not, could not, does not own?
I can accept that I am not God.
I can accept that I cannot actually change anyone.
But I cannot accept and I will not ask for serenity not to work for change,
Not to rend my clothing about the present circumstances,
Not to call out blasphemy, bullshit, and brutality.
I will not be serene about those things.
I will not be quiet about them.
And I don’t believe You want me to.
I desperately need a quiet moment, a moment to catch my breath, a sliver of peace.
Not to bring to a place of acceptance, but a respite where I can regroup, revive, repair.
And then I shall, with Your help, keep swinging.
Because there is not serenity for anyone until Your will is truly done on earth as in heaven.
The Reverend Julia Seymour serves Big Timber Lutheran Church (ELCA) in Big Timber, MT. She blogs at lutheranjulia.blogspot.com and readsallthethings.com. She contributed to There’s A Woman in the Pulpit and is President of the board of RevGalBlogPals, Inc.
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