Dear God,

I have some catching up to do with you. There are things chasing me down. Things from years ago when I thought setting them aside meant they could be left behind. They are not. And now, years later, I feel them even more–mistakes I can’t undo, my wrong words echoing still, what I see now that I missed then. How is it I have been able to do anything at all, with so much in the way of it? Thank you, merciful God for still trusting me with so much. Thank you for filling in the gaps and giving others grace to bear with me. Thank you I can still feel your joy strong in my spirit. Thank you for those moments when I know I’m coming close to where you are already working. Thank you for people who are kind to me. Thank you for the lines of hymns my spirit sings and means with all that I am. Thank you for looking through your lens of love and untying the knots into which I’ve tangled myself over the years. Thank you for saying “it’s never as bad as you think.” Thank you for saying you love me still and never stopped. Now help me love myself again the way you do. And may I never fall so far behind in it, again. Amen.

Diane Strickland is approaching her 33rd year as an ordained minister now serving in The United Church of Canada as retired clergy. She is a Certified Community and Workplace Traumatologist, Compassion Fatigue Specialist-Therapist, and Critical Incident Responder in private practice.

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