Dear God.
I have written prayers
for others to pray
with carefully crafted words
and evocative imagery.

I have written prayers
about having no words,
the prayers of feet pacing hallways,
the prayers of our tears.

I have outlined a box in my journal
empty of words or images.
A space marking a prayer.

I have danced my prayers
knitted my prayers
drawn my prayers.

And here I am,
on this website.
making a space for our praying together,
this community of clergy women
(and our friends in diversity of gender and vocation),
and I don’t have any
beautiful words or images,
any gestures or drawings,
any carefully held silence.
I have a too-full head,
and an aching heart,
and more anxiety than I’d really like to talk about.
And so my prayer
is more or less this, God,
that others will turn up
with their too-full heads,
and aching hearts,
and anxieties
and will know that we are together,
and that you are here,
in our midst,
and that this praying
this showing up
and being together
will be enough, for now.

Jemma Allen is a priest in the Anglican Church in Aotearoa, New Zealand and Polynesia and expresses that ministry as a researcher, counsellor and spiritual director. 

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