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I wonder what would have happened if Joseph chose to be incompatible with Mary and took her to the divorce courts of today’s era. They lived under Jewish law which was based strongly on the ten commandments wherein the command is given, “Honor your father and mother.” Sadly, no standard was given explicitly for how a father should honor the mother of his children or vice versa.  In the broken family courts of today’s world, the idea of honoring the other parent is trampled, but it is impossible to follow this commandment without considering that it’s not written only for the child to obey. I do not ignore amicable divorce and an agreed upon 50/50 custody split; in fact, I’ve seen such families thrive. However, that is a rarity in the corporation whose announced mission is to defend law and uphold justice. In the absence of laws or even consistent standards, the matter of a child’s future is left up to a stranger whose elite lifestyle and impunity allows for any opinionated decision under the guise of “the best interest of the child.”

The idea of honoring parents is typically ignored as the very premise for a family coming to such a place is a direct result of dishonor. Whether it be for dishonor of a person or of a promise, that which brought an otherwise functioning family to the point of seeking help from a third party screams of the kind of dishonor that leads to breaking the foundational rules for society.  The decision to honor the dishonor that brought people into the courtroom stands as a grounds for degradation representing the future of thousands.  

It is common for judges and other court personnel to completely ignore the foundational promises that brought those children into existence. As marriage in its actuation is political, applying to man’s government for a GOD-given right, it has become the license by which courts use to gain access and authority over a less than stellar relationship, one in which either parent has not been honored. The situation of one parent choosing to dishonor another is not only the reason they enter the courtroom, but the very foundation used to further discredit and even abuse the “lesser” parent. The dysfunction of the courts has grown to where we now see a large percentage of full-time parents lose custody of their children over bogus and slanderous accusations that have no evidence or even legal grounds for admission. The most often used lie is “mental instability” which is often proven wrong, but the expensive and unnecessary psychology report cannot repair the damage done to children torn out of their mother’s arms. At least, that repair cannot be attempted without extensive financial means and a years of repeated trauma. The statistics and horrible effects grow daily.  

In that organization, not only is the command to honor parents broken, it leads to breaking more commandments as a parent – usually the one who worked at home and had no income to leverage at competitive value – is killed socially, emotionally, financially, mentally, vocationally, spiritually, and so on. This past July, I said goodbye to an #erasedmom who died after seven years estrangement from her biological daughter who was given to the abusive father from whom the mother had sought help escaping. There comes a point when suicide is no longer self-inflicted and the judge violates the command “Thou shalt not kill.” In the ever-expanding crowd of parents suffering from judicial abuse, the dishonor of parents leads to breaking “Thou shalt not steal.” Being given custody at the cost of a parent’s loss by an unconstitutional decision is no less stealing than is grand theft of an automobile as a gang initiation or a bully convincing the younger child to swipe a candy bar. Using corruption to gain is a form of stealing.  Another command more frequently discussed in family law is “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”  This frequently taken out of context passage needs its own article to explain, but to honor both parents, consider the culture they formed as a couple and how they’ve lived to that point. As the no-adultery standard was established to protect the vulnerable gender in a nomadic and agricultural society, one can only imagine the ramifications of the same spousal abuse, abandonment, and unfaithfulness that is disregarded and even applauded by a kangaroo court in today’s society. Had Joseph divorced Mary, he might have raised Jesus as a single dad and the likelihood that the boy-God might never have known his own mother stands as a likelihood representing many women in the world today. It’s too bad the stone tablet’s didn’t read “Honor thy children’s mother.”

The custody crisis breaks down the system established to keep order. The commandments broken by the pursuit of happiness for one are our foundational principles.  To display the BLM banner and unfurl the LGBTQ+ flag is to consider that many minority people live in this world. The theological effect of judicial abuse to women and children is increasing, and it is past time places of worship stop “rendering unto Caesar” when the tyrant violates so many of the Ten Commandments and teaches our children to do the same. It is time for clergy to recognize the women whose souls are bleeding all over the politically-correct pews, for the words of old ring ever true: “Honor thy father and thy mother.”  

This post is cross-posted here at the author’s own blog. 


Yaki is soon finishing seminary as a United Church of Christ and American Baptist Church candidate for endorsement while serving as the national #ErasedMoms chaplain. She is an author, a mother, avid runner, and active mental health advocate on social media.


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