It is not that I don’t think I’m enough
Or even that I am overwhelmed by imposter syndrome,
But more that I am entirely enough
For a different set of circumstances.
Enough for a time and place
In which there is calmness and peace
And a little less emotional and situational firehose.
Enough for a time and place
In which everyone agrees as to the nature of our call
And the significance of worship and the truth of grace.
I am not equipped, Creator, for this present
Disaster state,
Rife with fools, liars, false priests,
And toadies as far as the eye can see.
Before I get too far into an imprecatory psalm,
I hear you reminding me that it is not merely privilege to ignore the present circumstances,
But sin.
My silent, internal grumble is not exactly whole-hearted obedience,
But it might the be best I can do today- with your help-
To try and be a little bit more the person you have made me to be-
A person who is needed and gifted for this particular time.
I renounce my own resistance.
Also, I may embrace a little sabbath later
In the form of a nap.
I’m not exactly going to leap from jeremiad to praise song,
But the consolation of not being alone and
Being enough, being right, being whole
In Divine hands and Divine plans
Is peace.
Amen.
The Reverend Julia Seymour serves Big Timber Lutheran Church (ELCA) in Big Timber, MT. She blogs sometimes at lutheranjulia.blogspot.com and readsallthethings.com. She serves on the board of RevGalBlogPals, Inc. and is working on a book about the fruits of the Spirit.
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