Dear Studio Executive, I am writing about a new TV show I hope you will consider producing. It is called “Gal Eye for the Pastor Guy.” It’s about a team of fabulous clergy women who travel around the country doing lifestyle, theological, and ecclesiological makeovers for struggling male pastors. We realize that such a program… Read More
Bullet Journals for Pastors
Bullet journals are really trending right now. Actually, the fact that I just started one probably means they were really trending two years ago. I’m a little slow on the trends. But I have one now! If you, like me, want to start a bullet journal, then you, like me, will type “how to start… Read More
Wits’ Ends Day: Happy (Ash) Valentine’s (Wednes)Day
Hallmark may not be taking advantage of this unique opportunity, but I thought somebody should create a few cards to mark the confluence of Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday. Sending all my love and penitent thoughts to you lovely clergywomen on this day of hearts and ashes. If you’ve ever struggled with the logistics of… Read More
Wits’ Ends Day: New Year’s Resolutions (for other people)
I was too busy throwing up my peppermint fudge brownie sundae (and whatever else I had eaten ever in my life) to make new year’s resolutions last week. But that’s OK. I’d be breaking them by now anyway. A couple of years ago I made some resolutions for failure in the new year—which worked out… Read More
December Clergy BINGO
Dec. 22: “Sorry I can’t [do what I’m scheduled to do Christmas Eve] because I have to [do this thing I’ve known about for months].” Fire safety concerns crowd out holy awe as entire congregation holds lit candles while singing Silent Night Dirge tempo for “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel”—all seven verses Realization that you… Read More
Wits’-Ends-Day: Gratitude List
How is it with your souls, my friends? Since this is supposed to be a humor column, I won’t list all of the recent news stories that have troubled my spirit or explain the disruptions in my personal life that caused me to forget to post a prayer on this very web site last Saturday.… Read More
Wits’ Ends Day: Pastoral Things
Yesterday I took a wall-mount Koala diaper changing table to work. On Sunday I took a bag of rocks and an ink pad (washable). It strikes me that our very sincere and holy calling as pastors requires a lot of random accouterments. So this morning I have for you a fun little song. Sing it… Read More
Wits’ Ends Day: All I Really Need to Know (About Pastoring) I Learned from my Cat
Robert Fulghum may have learned all he needed to know in Kindergarten, but honestly, I can’t remember back that far. My education is much more recent . . . and furry. Is it possible that all we really need to know about being pastors we can learn from our cats? Assuming you are the cat… Read More
Wits-Ends-Day: A Pastor’s Dream Come True
I started volunteering at our local humane society this week. Not because I’m a good person. Because my twelve-year-old daughter wants to volunteer and she’s too young to do it without parental supervision. After the required orientation, we wore our long pants, closed-toed shoes, and volunteer T-shirts, and showed up for our first shift. The… Read More
Wits’ Ends Day: Escape Room Challenge
Last week I was “locked” in a room along with six family members and four random strangers. We had one hour to solve the puzzles that would give us the code to get the medallion that would unlock the door. You’ll be happy to know that my group made it out with ten minutes to… Read More
