Ask the Matriarch: Retired Clergy Seeking Welcoming Congregation for Church Home

Calling all pastors of “We are a friendly church.” What experience do first -time visitors really have when they come through your doors? What if that person is clergy seeking a church home. Today we hear from a retired clergy woman who is starting to wonder if she ever will find her place to worship… Read More

Ask the Matriarch: When is friendly too friendly?

This week’s question is about a lot of things — inclusive church and appropriate touching are two of those. What are the real issues here, and what’s a pastor to do? Dear Matriarchs, My question is about creating a culture of respectful touching — and not touching — in a congregation that is very friendly,… Read More

Ask the Matriarch: Congregational Planning with a Stewardship Emphasis

This week’s question is from a soon-to-be ordained pastor whose congregation is feeling some growing pains that will impact her own professional life. Dear Matriarchs, I serve a mid-size congregation as Director of Faith Formation. I recently became eligible for ordination and my congregation must now decide whether to call me to continue serving them… Read More

Ask the Matriarch: About That Ministry “Hill Worth ‘Dying’ On”

Today, we consider critical church decisions, language choices, and the cost of doing ministry with integrity. Dear Matriarchs: I remember being surprised in my seminary field education class at how often one of my classmates used the phrase “not a hill I’m/we’re willing to die on” a lot about problems she and her supervising pastor… Read More

Ask the Matriarch: Pastoring the Church Matriarch

This week’s question for our RevGal Matriarchs is about a congregational matriarch. Dear Matriarchs: In my small, aging (worship around 60 people) PCUSA congregation there are basically 2 matriarchs. One of them is enlarging her territory and I’d like ideas on how to limit her. She is already clerk of the session, moderates mission committee,… Read More

Ask the Matriarch: Showing Compassion While Respecting Pastoral Boundaries

There’s formal “Boundary Training” for pastors, and then there are the real-life boundary tests that pop up along the way. Here’s one: Dear Matriarchs, I’m pastoring a tiny church (as in 18 members). There’s a family who were very active and beloved before I came who have now moved away. Because of their love for… Read More

Ask the Matriarch: Leading Worship in the Midst of Grief

One of our colleagues is facing a most difficult return to her pulpit Sunday. How does a pastor approach a worship service that meets her needs, her congregation’s and is faithful to the work of worship? Dear Women in Ministry, I am a second career, ordained for 6 years and in the same small church… Read More

Ask the Matriarch:What to tell (and not tell) the Search Committee

A pastoral search is an exercise in mutual vulnerability as pastor-to-be and her potential new congregation get to know one another. How much will each reveal to the other about the difficult things as they discern God’s call? Dear Matriarchs: I am in the search process (PCUSA), and anticipating interviews. I know that search committees… Read More

Ask the Matriarch: Former Member Still Stirring the (Anger) Pot

After a member leaves the church, but continues to engage angrily with the pastor and the congregation . . . what’s a pastor to do? Dear Matriarchs: Several months ago a family left our church because they couldn’t see how our church’s commitments to LGBTQ+ inclusion is faithful to the gospel. We thought they had… Read More